She has a pretty little head– for a head, it’s pretty little.
Seeing Eye Dog
Posted by adminMay 20
A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog’s head.Having watched what happened, a passerby said, “Say, why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!”"I know,” said the blind man, “but I gotta find his head before I can kick his butt.”
Island Blondes
Posted by adminMay 20
There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.
Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tagged as: black haired, boat, bridge, brown haired, fairy, Instantly, woman
What Is A Teenager?
Posted by adminMay 20
By Bill AdlerA Teenager is…A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number..A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast..A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver’s license.A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a Michael Jackson concert.A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tagged as: allowance, Bill AdlerA, madonna, person, phone, weight, weight watcher, youngster
Where Is Your Wife?
Posted by adminMay 20
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: “Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?”To which the farmer replied: “Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!”